This isn’t relationship advice. In fact, the best advice I can give you about relationships is this: they are, or they aren’t.
Let that sink in.
I had a friend who, after knocking back a number of brandies, blurted out his story of love for an old friend who was not quite reciprocating that emotion or providing the physical interaction most males (myself included) would appreciate. Yes ladies, we like to get physical. Now I swear this isn’t me, I mean my face or name isn’t on this blog, so really I am talking about a friend.
Anyway he cut his love interest off socially earlier on in the year, and since then had been living it up. Then they became friends again, and now he’s stuck being her emotional support… again. It’s draining as fuck.
I asked him at what point he decided to cut her off initially. He said: “Well, before she needed my support and – ” at which point I slapped the shit out of him. Actually I didn’t. I’m not a violent guy, but I did picture it vividly in my mind, and then proceeded to interrupt him and let him know that he’d answered a question directed at him, from her perspective.
Now let that sink in.
This guy was a casualty of selflessness. Not everyone is, and not everyone who takes advantage of a selfless person is bad or evil with a black soul. It’s just how it is. You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone– and she didn’t until he cut her off. And no ladies, I’m not a misogynistic fuck-ass. Women and men alike can be the victims and the perpetrators in this crime of the heart.
Also, I’m not encouraging selfishness and narcissism; but I am saying, be mindful of how you leverage what you give people on a social/ emotional level verses what your expectations of them are. For your own good.
It’s weekend. If this post gave you that feel, go have a drink. And have one for me too!